My number was
up. After several hours of sitting on a cold, hard, metal
bench, it was finally my turn to speak to someone. But
as I stood up to regurgitate the speech in flawless Italian
I had prepared while waiting, I froze. And the illusion
that I was just an ordinary Italian girl who wanted to
buy a train ticket was shattered. I was marked. I was an
American.
The travel agent greeted me with his best English
and, feeling incredibly embarrassed and humbled, I caved
in and used my
native language. We chatted while he printed out my ticket
to Munich. Everything was fine until we reached the critical
moment when he began to copy my name onto the ticket. And
the inevitable question spilled forth:
"Not Camilla?" the travel agent asked as he
looked up at me from his desk.
" No,
it's Gamilla," I replied, a little bewildered
that he would think I didn't know my own name.
"Because Camilla is Italian, you know. Isn't your
family from Italy? When you go home, tell your parents
they made a
mistake. It should be Camilla," the agent said.
I assured him I would do
so. How was I supposed to explain that my name wasn't common in any language,
that my parents
hadn't made a mistake in naming me -- they were just
weird? As I left the travel agency, I glanced down at my
ticket
for the next day. Sure enough, my name was printed out
as "Camilla
Gutman." I guess I knew from the beginning that
our little dialogue would get me nowhere.
I endured the
same struggle throughout my eight months
in Florence, and eventually I waved the white flag and
surrendered
to being called a different name. In fact, I grew so
accustomed to the incorrect and much longer version of
my name (everyone
here calls me Gami) that when someone actually pronounced
my name right, it felt foreign and awkward.
In fact,
as the months passed, everything associated with America
began to feel a little foreign and awkward.
I got
used to banks opening a half hour later than their stated
time, to trying on pants that wouldn't make it past my
left thigh, to the lack of a microwave and dryer in my
home and
to coffee that came in cups the size of a thimble. I
no longer considered cars a convenience. Instead, I dodged
them with
great trepidation as I walked down the narrow streets
back
to my apartment, arms loaded with bags of groceries from
the ipermercato Esselunga.
No more did I run to the gym
to join the ranks of stick thin girls trying to burn off
every last calorie. Instead,
I took
long walks up and down the hills of Florence's outskirts
and took lazy walks along the Arno River, carefully avoiding
the strange mutant rodents that swim up and down its
turbulent waters. My normal diet of instant oatmeal and
macaroni
and cheese converted into one of fresh bread and tomatoes
smothered
with chunks of creamy mozzarella and olive oil. My obsession
with "Jeopardy!" slowly subsided, replaced
by a daily dose of "Passaparola," possibly
the greatest game show of all times. And yes, I even
started listening
to Kylie Minogue and Tiziano Ferro, or what my mother
lovingly refers to as "Eurotrash."
My attempts
to integrate into Italian society -- though never complete
-- eventually paid off. I took a class
at the University
of Florence and passed the oral exam. My friend and I
met two Italian guys who didn't speak English very well,
and
together we all played soccer in the piazza at 2 a.m.,
watched Italian films without subtitles and discussed
the subtle
difference between the words "beach" and another
certain "b" word in the English language.
My
last day in Florence was rainy and cold -- I guess it
mirrored my feelings as I watched the clock tick toward
the fated time of departure. At 5 a.m., after a long
night
of
watching Italians learn the fine art of beer pong and
listening to Vasco Rossi sing "Ma dove vai?," I
shoved my bags into the back of a taxi and sped away
into the night.
As I boarded the plane, I started to cry. I realized
that for all the "conveniences" and "luxuries" of
the U.S., I wouldn't have traded one single day of my
time in Florence. And that if I could, I would be "Camilla
Gutman" forever. |