Barbara Parker and Richard Steeves started to collaborate on their respective research interests in bereavement and spousal homicide, or uxoricide, just two years ago. Now they are working to develop an information base of predictors of these “intimate partner homicides.” Given that the incidence is at least as frequent as certain diseases such as childhood leukemia, very little research has been done on the problem. Parker estimates that at least 4000 uxoricides take place each year, and she notes: “If one assumes that the lives of children of uxoricide are disrupted nearly as much as those with cancer, the extent of the problem is obvious. Yet any comparison of the attention given these two groups of vulnerable children by researchers demonstrates a significant disparity.”

Developing more information on the triggers that can provoke these killings may be as helpful as checklists that make people aware of impending strokes or heart attack. How the children of uxoricide survive following the incident may provide guidance to the family members and friends who are supporting these children. With uxoricide the child usually loses both parents. The victim is dead and the murderer is either also dead, as in the case of homicide/suicide, is a fugitive, or is in the custody of the police. Home, school, neighborhood—and therefore friends—will probably change as the child is moved to the custody of a relative, friend or foster family. In the ensuing trial, the child may be forced to talk about and therefore relive the traumatic event. Barbara Parker notes that stories in the media often refer to a murder being committed by“ an estranged partner.” She says that the word “estranged” sometimes prompts her interviewees to say that something was strange about their parents’ behavior prior to the killing, but they did not realize in time that it was a vital clue. Prevention of uxoricide through an early warning system is their long-term objective. She commented on one participant in the current study reading in the paper that her mother was killed by her estranged husband. She was 14 at the time and said to her 12-year-old sister, “Everyone knew he was strange but no one stopped him.”

Both Parker and Steeves are on the faculty in the School of Nursing and head the Parental Homicide Study with support from NIH’s National Institute for Nursing Research. They have discovered that a motivating factor for participants is the hope that a way will be found to stop the cycle of violence. Children who witness the murder of a parent sometimes also witness the suicide of the other parent, leaving them orphaned. Even if the surviving parent is caught, the children still lose this parent while he or she is in custody. Usually the children are brought up by relatives or foster parents. The repercussions for these children and other close family members are lifelong. “And yet,” says Steeves, “Very many of these survivors are courageous, successful people.” He has interviewed dozens of survivors and is impressed by the love and forgiveness that many of them feel toward the parent who committed murder. They do not understand what drove one of their parents to commit murder, and they still feel love for both parents, despite their loss. Survivors often tell researchers that they want to help prevent others from suffering what they have endured. Frequently the murder is a forbidden topic within the family, and this may be the only opportunity they have to
express their feelings about it.

Wider questions are raised by this line of research relating to the nature of emotional trauma, defense mechanisms used by survivors and aspects of memory. After publication of their initial findings, Parker and Steeves have been approached by numerous survivors who volunteer to contribute their own experiences to further research.While the purpose of the study is not to provide therapy, it is possible that this is one of the beneficial outcomes of the research for those who participate.