YES, VIRGINIA, CHILDREN CAN LEARN FROM SANTA

	Let the holidays teach children about generosity -- not greed.
A roomful of gaily wrapped gifts represents an ideal time to teach
children about caring and giving, says Peter L. Sheras, a clinical
psychologist at the University of Virginia.  In an article titled
"Kids Who Care" in this month's Parents Magazine, Sheras offers the
following tips.

The Truth About Santa

	Don't encourage children to believe that all presents come
from Santa, Sheras warns. Fixation on Santa could overshadow the true
meaning of giving.  "Children may not understand that real people put
time, money, energy and love into buying or making things for them if
they view Santa as the source of unlimited gifts," says Sheras, an
associate professor in U.Va.'s Curry School of Education.

	Ask children when they make out their wish lists to identify
only a few items that they really want.  Have one or two of those come
from Santa and the rest from family.  "When your child asks how
Grandma knew which action figures were the coolest, explain that
Grandma tries hard to find just the right presents for him," advises
Sheras, whose clinical practice focuses on relationships.  

	Instill the spirit of giving in your children by asking them
to be Santa's helpers.  Ask their help in identifying items to give to
other children or relatives. Participating in gift-selection decisions
empowers children and cultivates a belief that giving is enjoyable.

	Guide children in considering the needs of the less fortunate.
"Say 'Santa tries to make the world a fairer place, but some people
need an awful lot of things.  What's the best way we can help those
people get what they need?'" Sheras proposes.

How Much Is Too Much?

	Parents often feel like crying when children run from present
to present, leaving shreds of cardboard and wrapping paper everywhere,
with scant notice to the carefully selected gifts inside.  "We parents
set ourselves up for this scene.  Giving too many presents to our
children to open in one sitting is like encouraging them to overeat,"
notes Sheras, the father of two children.  

	To prevent gift-overload, parents should restrict their gifts
to a few big items and some small ones, such as ornaments.  "A rule of
thumb might be a major present for each year of a young child's age,"
suggests Sheras, who defines "major" as what's most important to the
child, not what's most expensive or big.

Avoid The Holiday Blues

	A researcher of family stress, Sheras cautions against
overindulging in food, drink and late nights because they can
contribute to a heightened emotional state that 
can lead to post-holiday feelings of depression.  He also warns
against spending too much money during the holidays.

	"Those who spend more than they should, economically or
emotionally, often hope to be paid back for their efforts with a
similar amount of love or appreciation.  Such unrealistic expectations
often lead to disappointment," Sheras says.

	For details, Sheras can be reached at (804) 924-0795; office;
(804) 973 3536, home; or via pls@virginia.edu.  
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                                                          Dec. 4, 1997