PLAN NOW TO AVOID HOLIDAY BLUES

	Norman Rockwell-type portrayals of happy families gathered
together at the holidays may spur feelings of loneliness, guilt or
depression in people, causing them to suffer from "holiday blues,"
says University of Virginia clinical psychologist Peter Sheras.  "We
think of holidays as important periods of time to be with people.
When those people are not there, the 'blues' are likely to occur,"
said Sheras, who researches family stress and relationships.

	He cautions against overindulging in food, drink and late
nights because they can contribute to a heightened emotional state.
He also recommends against overdoing it financially during the
holidays.  "Those who spend more than they should, economically or
emotionally, often hope to be paid back for their efforts with a
similar amount of love or appreciation.  Such unrealistic
expectations often lead to disappointment," noted Sheras, an
associate professor in U.Va.'s Curry School of Education.

	People may become blue because they think of themselves as
being "prisoners." "We tend to let the circumstances drive us, and
we feel out of control," Sheras added.  He recommends combatting
that tendency by planning to do things for others, such as
volunteering at a social agency, visiting a nursing home or serving
meals to the homeless.

	For more information, contact Sheras at (804) 924-0795 or
via pls@virginia.edu.

	The secret to having trouble-free holidays with former
in-laws and spouses is to make plans well in advance, says Robert E.
Emery, author of "Renegotiating Family Relationships, Divorce, Child
Custody and Mediation."  He recommends determining early which
parents will be with the children on the holidays so that both
adults and children can accept the idea.

 	"Having a schedule worked out in advance makes it clearer
for the kids; they know where they're going to be and they don't
have to worry about it," said Emery, a U.Va. psychology professor
who researches family conflict and the effects of divorce on
children's development.

	He also recommends that each parent in divorced families
establish new traditions for themselves and their children to lessen
the "holiday blues." "Everyone can have something to look forward to
if families establish new traditions," said Emery, a clinical
psychologist.

	For more information, he can be reached at (804) 924-0671 or
via ree@virginia.edu.

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November 10, 1995