A Letter from the President to Parents

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dear Parents of our Students:

Early Monday morning, Yeardley Love, a fourth-year student from Cockeysville, Md., died in her off-campus apartment here in Charlottesville. The police have charged George Huguely, a fourth-year student from Chevy Chase, Md., with first-degree murder. He is currently in custody at the Charlottesville/Albemarle jail. This week we have watched our students struggle to comprehend what has happened. Since Monday we have been working steadily to meet their (and our own) needs to grieve in appropriate ways and to understand how such a death could have occurred in a community of young people.

We are providing individual counseling services as requested. We can provide more if you will alert us to needs that you as a family know. Please send a note to me at my email address (jtc@virginia.edu) if we can help. Because students have begun taking exams this week, we are also doing what is possible to protect our students from distractions. Media personnel became more intrusive in their approaches to students than seemed appropriate to me just as exams began. I asked for their cooperation so that students can complete their work. By and large, media personnel have cooperated, and I am grateful to them for that.

I am writing now because your daughters and sons will complete their exams soon, and then in most cases come home to you. This letter includes information about what we have done this week and advice consistent with the best experts we have found on steps you might take to support your children as they bring home their own personal responses to what has happened. Many of our students are grieving. Many are angry. Many are struggling to grasp the possibility of what they (and I) see as the unthinkable brutality that ended the life of one of their own. As I do, they see the University as the safe place that belongs to them. This death did not occur inside the University, and the address where it occurred is private property. Nonetheless, they and I consider the address part of their community—the place where they ought to be safe. Young people are strong, and our students are uncommonly strong. I hope that the following notes are unnecessary for your family. Yet I feel obligated to pass along this information. I appreciate your reading it.

On first learning that a student had died early Monday, I wrote to our students and others here (faculty members, advisors, et al) to provide the information available to us. As we received more information, we sent additional advisories. During the afternoon, the Charlottesville police released Yeardley Love's and George Huguely's names along with information on the charge of first-degree murder. Other messages to students announced the availability of counseling and other support for those who needed those services, and of course of the vigil convened by the Student Council President on Wednesday night. Along with student leaders, I spoke to the students at the vigil, which was held in the McIntire Amphitheater. Relevant documents, including my statement at the vigil, appear at http://www.virginia.edu/president/speeches.html.

Several University entities have assisted students this week. These include the Office of the Dean of Students, which took lead responsibility, the Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS), and the Women's Center. Several students contacted me directly. Many asked for help. To my knowledge, all who asked have been provided access to and time with competent professionals.

The following is advice that may seem commonsensical to some, but that parents have asked me to provide. If your daughter's or son's mood or demeanor seems to you different from what you are accustomed to seeing, or uncharacteristically erratic, please pay extra attention. Sensible information on signs of overwhelming grief or depression in young adults appears on the web and in readily-available books, and I have found professionals with whom I have worked this week eager to provide counsel on what might be effective now. Common signs of depression include: changes in sleep and eating habits; increased irritability; withdrawal from others; difficulty sustaining concentration; repetition of sad or stressful thoughts; constant worry; predominant sadness; and physical symptoms, which are said often to appear in the forms of fatigue, anxiety, frequent headaches, muscle soreness, and gastrointestinal distress. I hope that you will seek help if you notice these or similar signs of distress in your child. If you sense that your child has thoughts of harming herself, get help right away. Call 911, call a clergy member, call a physician whom you know or whom a neighbor or friend identifies as capable and accessible, call a family member or trusted friend.

Signs of involvement in an abusive relationship may be more complex. I am told that they may include social withdrawal of the partner who is under duress—your daughter may deal with a problem of this kind by withdrawing from all attachments, including her attachments to family; efforts by one partner to seclude or control the other (by criticizing mutual friends, by restricting or taking access to passwords, cell phones, computers, keys, money, and by sundry tactics to control the other—behavior that may be in a healthy relationship playful or flirtatious may turn into something quite different when one partner sets out to dominate the other); frequent and intense arguing; and bruises or other marks on the body that might signal physical abuse. A person who is enduring this abuse by a partner may not exhibit whatever demeanor one might expect—may not be, for example, shy or meek. Even young women who appear socially comfortable or confident may be experiencing mistreatment. As I have, you may need professional advice now in order to understand what you see in your child's behavior. So please be alert to these signals, both subtle and obvious, and seek professional guidance if you need it. Take action if you sense that your child may need you or some other adult backer while in or extracting herself (or himself, if that is the case) from an abusive connection.

I spoke on Wednesday evening as clearly as I know how to do about what is to be learned from Yeardley's death and done to protect others. I talked about the reality of evil, of abusive relationships here—in a place that many students and many of us (you and I) may see as a secure Garden of Eden where young people can grow and learn without fearing harm. I urged them to remember Yeardley and her death with righteous anger, to seize on the moral outrage necessary to the work of assuring that no woman, no person in this place or in the larger communities to which all of us belong need either fear for her safety or suffer violence for any reason. I encouraged them to speak up for themselves and for their friends when they sense or experience threats to their safety; to act decisively when they see or hear about abuse or violence among their friends and classmates; to seek help (from deans and advisors, from the police, from their professors, from me) if they are involved in a relationship that becomes unhealthy or toxic, and thus threatens them.

I am asking you now to reiterate these messages or whatever seems most constructive to your daughters and sons when they come home in a few days, and to be especially alert to possible signs that your child may be involved in a damaging relationship. This concern is for both women and men. I have seen no division between women and men here this week: students of both sexes have recognized together that this issue involves them. Our students, your daughters and sons, and those who came before them, have been my surrogate family for two decades now. As I know you do, I cherish them. Ordinarily, I am able to report what we have done to address a need. This time, I must ask you to do what must be done now for your own child.

As parents of students, you belong to an extended family that includes every member of our University community. When one of our own dies—and especially when one of our own dies in such a violent, senseless way—we grieve as family members grieve for a lost loved one. Just as family members lean on each other in difficult times and rely on each other for support and solace, let us rely on each other now. Let us see to it that the things your daughters and sons learn here become and remain true in the world to which they go after they leave this place.

John Casteen

A Message from Pat Lampkin, Vice President and Chief Student Affairs Officer

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Dear Students:
Today I am writing you with the same sadness and grief that so many of you are feeling as the result of Yeardley Love's death. I want to reassure you how much we care about you - your health, safety, and how you go about dealing with the emotions of this tragic event. I also want to remind you that members of my staff, as well as other resources, are available to you if you need support.

This is a difficult time for the University community, especially for those of you who knew Yeardley as a friend, sorority sister, teammate, or classmate. You may be having trouble understanding how such an unthinkable act could occur in our midst. You also may be concerned about yourself or your friends if you have experienced or witnessed abuse in a relationship.

We recognize the stress you are under right now with exams and the end of the school year. As you deal with both academic stress and the emotional trauma of this week, some reactions and processing on your part may be delayed until the coming weeks, perhaps well into the summer when you are not at the University.

This message is long, but I hope you will read it carefully and find it useful for your own individual situation. Included are practical guidelines should you need them now or in the future. You will find the following information:



Dealing with Grief
We recognize that other students have passed away this year as the result of tragedy. Anyone affected by these losses will likely feel saddened and grieved. Grief is personal and occurs at an individual pace, but friends, family, and clergy can be extremely helpful during the grieving process. It is important to seek comfort and to maintain your own health during this time. Some suggestions:

  • Spend time with people who bring comfort to you. Your friends are most likely at the top of that list at this stage in your life. Talk to your parents, too, and let them know how they can help. When you are most comfortable, you can best care for yourself.
  • Remember other sources of comfort, such as pets, music, and art.
  • Find healthy ways to have fun. This is a basic human need. Don't let feelings of guilt ("How can I have fun at a time like this?") deprive you of this key element in your life.
  • Let the grief unfold in the way that feels right for you. It's OK to think about the tragedy, or not to. Try not to judge your own reaction or that of others.


Signs of Depression

If grief becomes depression, then it is important to seek professional help. The signs of depression include:

  • Changes in sleeping and eating habits.
  • Increased irritability.
  • Withdrawal from others.
  • Worsening concentration.
  • Getting stuck in sad or stressful thoughts.
  • Constant worry.
  • Predominant sadness.
  • Physical symptoms, such as fatigue, anxiety, frequent headaches, muscle soreness, and gastrointestinal distress.
  • IMPORTANT: Thoughts of harming yourself or others need immediate attention. If you are thinking about harming yourself in any way, you should get help right away - call 911, call a clergy member, call a physician with whom you are close, call a family member or trusted friend. If a friend is talking about harming him/herself or others, do what you can to get that person to reach out to professional resources, ideally a mental health professional.


Signs of an Abusive Relationship

If you, a friend, or an acquaintance is in a relationship that could involve abuse, you may experience or witness one or more of the following:

  • Social withdrawal of the partner who is under duress.
  • Efforts by one partner to seclude or control the other (for example: criticizing friends; restricting or taking access to passwords, cell phones, computers, keys, money, etc.).
  • Frequent and intense arguing.
  • Physical marks.
  • Experts point out that an individual who is enduring abuse may not necessarily exhibit a stereotypical demeanor, such as being shy or meek. Likewise, those who appear socially comfortable or confident can still be experiencing mistreatment.


Where to Call When You Need Help

These University resources are available to you at any time you feel your safety is threatened, you witness others being harmed, or you or a friend is dealing with emotional difficulties:

  • Call 911. Wherever you are, whether at U.Va. or far from the Grounds, your first instinct should be to call 911 if you or someone else is in immediate danger.
  • Office of the Dean of Students: 434-924-7133. 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekdays; after hours, call University Police (434-924-7166) and ask to be connected with the dean-on-call who is available 24/7.
  • Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS): 434-243-5150 for appointments; 434-972-7004 for after-hours emergencies. For more urgent needs, walk-in services are available Monday through Friday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. See the Web site for resources about depression, suicide and how to get help during a crisis.
  • U.Va. Women's Center: 434-982-2252. The center provides counseling services to women who are experiencing domestic or intimate partner abuse. See the center's Web site for a variety of related resources.
  • Medical Emergencies: Always call 911. This reminder bears repeating: Students who call 911 for medical emergencies will not face any disciplinary action for doing so. It is critical that you always get immediate help for yourself or your friends. Even a brief delay in calling 911 can be critical.

Other University Resources

  • "Just Report It": If you witness an incident of bias or abuse directed toward a student, you are urged to report it to an authority. One way in which you can do this is through "Just Report It," the University's online bias incident reporting system. The system enables you to report any situation in which you see a student treated wrongly - whether verbally, physically, or in writing -- by another individual. The perpetrator may or may not be a student.
  • SAPA (Sexual Assault Peer Advisers): This group of trained U.Va. students maintains a list of resources and ways to help friends involved in abusive relationships. Contact the group at sapa@virginia.edu.
  • One-in-Four: This all-male peer advocacy group at U.Va. provides resources and educational programming about sexual violence to student groups and survivors.

Getting Help When You are No Longer in Charlottesville

The effects of this tragedy are likely to continue into the summer, when you may be away from the resources available on Grounds. If you are at home, your family can be an obvious source of support. As mentioned before, talk to your parents, and let them know how they can help. The same is true for friends. Here are some additional ways you can find support if you get overwhelmed when you are no longer in Charlottesville:

  • Call CAPS (434-243-5150). They can help you find a mental health professional in your area by talking through options with you and often making a referral.
  • Talk to your primary care physician, gynecologist, or any other health care professional. Often he or she can provide excellent support and medication, if necessary. You can also receive a referral to a mental health professional, if appropriate.
  • Go to your insurance company's Web site to find a list of providers in your area.
  • Talk to someone in your church, temple or mosque.

Resources in the Greater Charlottesville Area

  • SARA (Sexual Assault Resource Agency): This organization helps those who are experiencing intimate partner abuse. They also have a 24-hour hotline available to any student or community member who feels unsafe or who just needs someone to talk to confidentially. You can call the hotline anytime at 434-977-7273.
  • SHE (Shelter for Help in Emergency): SHE provides a variety of services, including a 24-hour hotline, similar to SARA for anyone who feels unsafe and needs a kind, confidential ear. You can call the SHE hotline anytime at 434-293-8509.


Other Health Reminders

  • Use of alcohol or other drugs worsens depression and anxiety. It also can increase the risk of both depression and physical/emotional abuse because it reduces impulse control and impedes judgment.
  • Look out for one another. Think about what support truly entails and try to support your friends' health. Don't hesitate to say something to a friend if you witness interactions that you would define as troubling and damaging from a health standpoint.
  • Be mindful of each other's alcohol and drug use and how that can affect judgment.

In closing, I want to reiterate my concern for you at this time. All of us in Student Affairs are here to provide our ongoing support. Please let us know how you are doing, and what we can do to help you in the days ahead.

Sincerely,
Patricia M. Lampkin
Vice President and Chief Student Affairs Officer

President Casteen's Remarks at the Candlelight Vigil for Yeardley Love

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

There are profound ironies in our gathering here tonight for this purpose. This is the spring time. It's the time of year for renewal, for new beginnings. And yet we have come here to grieve the ending of a young life, of Yeardley Love's life, one full of promise and high prospects—and one not unlike yours.

I want to talk tonight about Yeardley Love, and I want to talk about you, and about this community—about us. Some of what I have to say is very hard. Bear with me, and listen.

First, about Yeardley: We know little at this point about Yeardley's dying. The prosecutor has found cause to bring the charge of murder. The defense attorney has described her death as an accident. This is not the forum to examine those charges or the evidence that will eventually make its way to court.

But it is a forum for acknowledging what we do know. That includes: that Yeardley Love accomplished much in her too-brief life; that she earned the respect of those around her—her classmates, her faculty mentors, coaches, sisters in her sorority, her roommates, certainly her family; that she excelled in what she undertook to do in life, and she excelled in what she chose to be; that Yeardley Love did nothing to deserve to be attacked and beaten, to deserve to suffer the injuries of which we have all read in the police reports, to deserve to die; indeed for that matter, that woman beaten, thrown against walls, or in any other way abused has ever deserved either to suffer or to die.

My hope for Yeardley, and for you, is that her dying inspires an anger, a sense of outrage that engenders determination here and wherever Yeardley's name is recognized that no woman, no person in this place, this community, this state, our nation need either fear for her safety or experience violence for any reason: not because of her sex, not because of her size, not because of an attacker's advantage or arrogance or mindless sense of right to abuse, to harm, perhaps to kill; and then that memory of Yeardley's name, her personal strengths, her successes, her human worth may survive the memory of the dying about which we ache tonight, and that you and we and all who know the story of Yeardley Love will learn the lessons of her living, of her life.

And then I want to talk about you for a few minutes: take something away from this event. Take with you the determination that you will speak up for yourself, that you will act when you see or hear about abuse or violence in the world around you. If your relationship is unhealthy or toxic, seek help, seek support. Talk to your dean. Seek out a faculty member. Come talk to me. If necessary go to the police, or let us take you to the police. If you fear for yourself or for others any form of violence, act. Seek the support that belongs to you, because you belong to us. Demand and expect support, respect, and assistance when you do that. Help your friend in the same way if she (or he) needs help of the same kind. Don't hear a scream, don't watch abuse, don't hear stories of abuse from your friends—and keep quiet. Speak out. Find me; I will go with you to the police.

We all enjoy the privilege of living here in what we call—and rightly—a community of trust. I have believed you; you have believed one another; we have learned to trust one another here. Leave tonight with knowledge that the blows and abuse that somehow ended Yeardley's life threaten all of us, threaten you, and threaten this community of trust—that violence and abuse left unconfronted can and will destroy this culture that we love.

Addressing the shock and the grief that all of us feel tonight is hard. It's also something we owe to Yeardley Love, and we owe it to one another. You do not have to do that alone. If you need someone to listen, to act on your behalf, to help, call the numbers that you know, or remember 924-7133. Call 4-7133. Don't hesitate, don't wait for someone else – do it tonight, do it first thing in the morning. And again, if you believe that you know something that threatens one of your friends, do it for Yeardley Love—call.

The net of this as I understand this community, our place, your identities as people whom I respect and cherish is that the lesson to learn—the value for you of remembering Yeardley Love for what she was—is that you choose to live, that you guard against the events that led to Yeardley's death by recognizing evil, by recognizing danger, by seeing it for what it is whether it is your own or your neighbor's, by choosing to preserve this community of trust. Choose now, tonight, to honor Yeardley Love's life. Promise yourself that wherever you go from this place in future years, you take with yourself the sense of vicious loss that tonight commemorates.

And tuck away in your soul the knowledge that neither Yeardley Love nor any woman ever attacked has deserved it, that no victim in the end has to suffer, has to die, but that together we are the protection, that we must act together to protect one another and to see to it that the things we've learned here become and remain true in the world to which we go after this place.

May God bless Yeardley Love.

John T. Casteen III, president

Message from Craig Littlepage Regarding Yeardley Love

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The loss of any young person is tragic. When that young person has the talent, personality, and potential of someone like Yeardley Love, the loss goes much deeper. Yesterday President Casteen wrote a moving message about Yeardley to the University community. His thoughts were presented eloquently and powerfully, summarizing the uniquely talented student that Yeardley Love was. In comments made by her teammates and friends, Yeardley was described as an "angel" and the type of person who would light up any room. She was a dedicated student-athlete and a natural leader.

We are all heartbroken that we will not see the full potential that this wonderful young woman would have brought to our lives and to our community. Our primary focus now will be on Yeardley's family and the young women and young men on our lacrosse teams.

The students are under tremendous stress and have experienced a huge loss. Our students' welfare will be continually observed over the coming days and weeks so that we are poised to ensure they are healing and coping as best as can be expected. Beginning with the early morning hours on Monday, the Vice President for Student Affairs, the Dean of Students, and Counseling and Psychological Services deployed staff to assist our lacrosse student-athletes.

A part of their healing will be getting our students back into some of their routines. In the case of the women's and men's programs, our lacrosse teams will honor Yeardley by continuing their seasons. We anticipate both teams will be selected for the NCAA Tournaments and they will represent the University of Virginia as they always have.

In the past 24 hours numerous individuals throughout college athletics and higher education have expressed their concern and support for the University of Virginia. Their thoughtful words are appreciated at this difficult time.

I am proud of the dignified way in which our students and coaches have responded to such a traumatic situation. The parents of our students also have my appreciation for the way in which they mobilized, and joined us as plans were put together to assist the teams. Finally, it is comforting to see how the University community has rallied in support of all who have been touched by Yeardley's life and her passing.

-- Craig Littlepage, Virginia Director of Athletics

Message from Colin Hood, Student Council President

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dear Students:
This is a difficult time for our community. The violent death of fourth-year student Yeardley Love has left her many friends, classmates, and teammates grief-stricken. Many of us are in shock as to how such an act could occur.

Yeardley's death comes at the end of a year marked by other student deaths and acts of violence within the community. At the University-wide memorial service last Friday, we remembered the lives of six of our fellow students who had passed away during this school year. Little did we know that we would experience another loss so soon within our community.

Student Council feels it is important to come together during this sad time. As a means of uniting the entire community, we will be holding a candlelight vigil tomorrow evening, May 5, at 8 p.m. in the Amphitheatre. President John Casteen, Fourth-Year Class President Sarah Elaine Hart, and I will offer brief remarks, accompanied by musical tributes and the candlelight vigil. The program will last about an hour and is open to all.

Although I know this is a busy, stressful time for students just as we start exams, I hope you will come tomorrow evening for this opportunity to reach out to one another in comfort, support, and unity.

For more information, please visit www.uvastudentcouncil.com.

Sincerely,

Colin Hood
Student Council President
colin.hood@virginia.edu

Message from President Casteen

Monday, May 3, 2010

Earlier today, we released a statement about a Charlottesville Police investigation of an apparent homicide in which the victim is a University of Virginia student. A just-released update of an earlier Charlottesville Police statement about this investigation identifies the victim as Yeardley Love, a fourth-year student from Cockeysville, Maryland, and a Varsity lacrosse player. The updated Charlottesville Police Department statement appears just below this one along with advice to students from University Police Chief Michael Gibson. The Charlottesville Police statement also discloses that George Huguely, a fourth-year student from Chevy Chase, Maryland, and a Varsity men's lacrosse player, has been charged with First Degree Murder, and is in custody at the Charlottesville/Albemarle jail. We urge all students and faculty/staff to read both of the following statements with care.

Although we know nothing other than what appears in the Charlottesville Police Department's more recent statement, this death moves us to deep anguish for the loss of a student of uncommon talent and promise, and we express the University's and our own sympathy for Yeardley's family, team-mates, and friends. That she appears now to have been murdered by another student compounds this sense of loss by suggesting that Yeardley died without comfort or consolation from those closest to her. We mourn her death and feel anger on reading that the investigators believe that another student caused it. Like students who have contacted us in the last few minutes, we know no explanation of what appears now to have happened.

Police investigators and the courts will eventually determine what happened and make judgments on the basis of evidence submitted by the police and the Commonwealth's Attorney. Meantime, along with all in the University and family members and friends elsewhere, we grieve and ache for this loss. It is easy to imagine that professional counseling services may prove useful to any number of students as we try to assimilate this information. If you wish to meet with a counselor or one of the deans, call the office of the dean of students at 924-7133, and if you believe that a friend or acquaintance needs support and is not asking for it, call the same number, and explain what you have seen. Don't hesitate to call. Don't feel embarrassment about calling. Don't keep quiet about a grieving friend who seems to need assistance but to be unable to request it.

And let us all acknowledge that, however little we may not know now about Yeardley Love's death, we do know that she did not have or deserve to die--that she deserved the bright future she earned growing up, studying here, and developing her talents as a lacrosse player. She deserves to be remembered for her human goodness, her capacity for future greatness, and not for the terrible way in which her young life has ended.

John Casteen

A Message from President John T. Casteen and Leonard Sandridge, Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer

Monday, May 3, 2010

To the University community:

We have learned this morning about the death of a University student, apparently late Sunday night or early this morning, in an apartment on 14th Street. Statements from University Police Chief Michael Gibson and the Charlottesville Police Department appear below. Although we know no details of the police investigation of this death, we note with concern that the Charlottesville Police Department is treating the case as a homicide investigation. In Chief Gibson's statement, you will find general advice on personal safety and specific instructions on how to reach the police quickly if you find yourself in danger and if you believe that someone else may be in danger.

Obviously, we take the death of any student very seriously, and we support the police investigation into the causes of this death. Please read Chief Gibson's and the Charlottesville Police Department's statements carefully and completely, and cooperate fully with the ongoing investigation. If you have information that may be relevant to the investigation, follow the Charlottesville Police Department's advice: call Charlottesville Police Sergeant Mark Brake at 970-3970 or Crime Stoppers at 977-4000.

Leonard Sandridge
John Casteen

A Message from Mike Gibson, Chief of Police

Monday, May 3, 2010

This email is to alert the community that the Charlottesville Police Department is conducting an investigation on the suspicious death of one of our students in a private residence in the 14th Street area. While very few details are available at this time we would encourage the community to visit the UVA Homepage for updated information.

While Charlottesville remains a relatively safe environment, crimes do occur in our community. The best defense is to be prepared and to take responsibility for your own safety and for that of your friends and fellow students. A few key reminders:

  • Trust your instincts about a person or situation. If you feel uncomfortable, immediately report your concerns to police by calling 911.
  • If you are on the Grounds and need help, pick up one of the blue-light telephones. You will be immediately connected to University Police. Be aware of your surroundings. Do not let a cell phone conversation or listening to music distract you when crossing the street or in any type of situation that calls for your full attention.
  • Avoid isolated areas and walking alone at night. Use SafeRide (434-242-1122), walk with friends, or take a late-night weekend bus.
  • Keep your doors and windows locked.
  • Never allow strangers to follow you into a locked building and gain entry by “tailgating” you once you swipe the card reader in a residence hall. Also, never prop open card-reader doors.
  • If you see any of the following, immediately call the police at 911: a prowler, someone peeping into a residence, an individual watching, photographing or filming an area, or any other suspicious behavior.
  • Work with your neighbors and fellow community members to ensure a safe environment.
  • For additional safety tips from University Police, please see http://www.virginia.edu/uvapolice/prevention.html#Residence.

Last Modified: 11-May-2010 11:11:31 EDT